The Bad Place

Have you ever come to a point in your life, after all the bad times, when everything is so good, you just know you're gonna lose it all? Welcome to my world. Ive never done anything to deserve good things, definitely not great things. Then a great thing comes along and you just know it's too good to be true. You wait and wait for the other shoe too drop. Always holding your breath, watching your back.....and with the waiting. Always the waiting. I havent had many good things in my life. Now that Ive come to a place where I do have good things, Im always scared Im going to lose it. I spend all my time selling myself, always afraid that who I am, what I am, will never be enough. Just like you sell yourself at a job interview. Really,at the end of the day, it's just another form of prostitution. Isnt it. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel deserving, or worthwhile. My heart hopes, and waits. Longing for the day.......