I Will Remeber You

Well, if I could get some quiet I might be able to make some sense of ......well.....something. My boyfriend's sister passed away last week. Passed away being the PC term. She actually overdosed, and died on my kitchen floor. I cant even stand to go in my apartment let alone stay there. Im getting evicted the 31st anyway, (thanks to mt boyfriends sister, previous thing and what not.) So I really am kinda homeless. I just cant believe she's gone. Yeah, we fought like cats and dogs, or well sisters, but what's that in the grand scheme of things. It doesnt mean I didnt love her, I surely didnt want anything to happen to her ; other than maybe get clean, have a good life, be loved, be happy. I wonder at what her boyfriend must be feeling right now. To know he'll never hold her, kiss her lips, hear her voice. At this point it's almost beyond my comprehension, it just doesnt even bear thinking on; but how can you not think about it. I wish I could just sleep for six months and wake up and everythings happy happy, joy joy. Life sadly is more complex and infinitely more painful...........and beautiful. For every moment of agonizing grief there is a moment of sheer bliss, for every life a death. I only pray that Jeanie finds what she was looking for wherever she is now.