When I was about 15 my dog got run over by a car and she passed away. It really sucked, (obviously), but I couldnt bear not to have a puppy in the house; so we went out the very same day and got another dog. We named her Baby. Problem was I never really bonded with her, due to the tragic circumstances under which she was acquired. So when I got married and moved out I left Baby with my mom and dad because they loved her so much. Dont get me wrong I loved the dog and she was 'mine' in the possession sense of the word, but she had bonded with my parents in a way we hadnt. Over the years going over to my parents I played with Baby and gave her treats, I loved she was part of the family. Well Baby got older, the way everything does, and on Valentines day she had to be put to sleep. She had a tumor the size of a grapefruit in her abdomen. Honestly, I dont know how there was room for anything else. She was so terribly sick and 14 years old, it seemed cruel to make her suffer thru surgeries that probably would have accomplished causing her more pain. My dad even cried, which of course, did me in since he's tough as nails, and never cries over anything. After my grandmas passing three days before Christmas, it's all just to much. I'm so depressed I cant hardly form a thought. I wonder from room to room, desperately looking for something to do. As soon as I find anything I immediately put it down and look for something else. Nothing seems to hold my attention. The hurts so deep I cant even cry. I just keep saying, 'why are you testing me God, what am I supposed to learn from this?', but if God's talking, I cant hear him. There is no "Why me God" cause I know why.....this is real life and sometimes real life sucks. It happens to everyone, but so many things in so little time, I figure, there must be a reason. I wish I could understand Gods plan for me.
"I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go. My own wisdom, and that of all about me seemed insufficient for the day."-- William Adams
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment